No More Butterknife Squalor!

History in the hygiene of BkE friends and residents was made today with the arrival of an all-new robotic vacuum. That is correct, BkE now sports a Roomba! For those who are not familiar with the concept of Roomba, it is a near-sentient, self-charging, automated vacuum. It slips under couchs and into tight places with ease. With its sweeping and dust collection abilities, BkE will be cleaner than ever before. That's right, choose Roomba for all your vacuuming needs! Well, in any case, we have, and we shall soon reap the benefits of having a cleaner, happier BkE. Not just because of the direct vacuuming effects of the Roomba, but also because we'll have to keep the house uncluttered from now on to use it.

As of my knowledge right now, this particular Roomba remains unnamed. In order for it to not be picked on by Sanora, Amelie, Charlestonbury and Molly, it needs a name. A name that speaks for its amazing abilities and profound importance at BkE.

On a more unfortunate note, Thad's projectoritis has been acting up recently. It seems that our donations only helped send it into remission. Let us strive together to rid Thad of this unseemly disease once and for all!

No-Go-Zone

Not to be outdone by Gaza in the press today, Butterknife Estates leaders today declared its borders off-limits to foreign journalists.

In contrast to the safety reasons and rampant abductions cited for closing Gaza to the outside press, BkE officials only emphasized their disgust for a nearly continuous barrage of requests for interviews, mostly from the island of Guam. When BkE spokesman, Thad Gillespie, was informed that Guam is a territory of the United States and will not be affected by the ban, he refused to comment and ended the press conference early.

In accordance with the new policies, all commenters on the official Butterknife Estates blog must make their nationalities known up front.